House Divided
Here is a word that I got while confronting God about my recent feelings of turmoil.
What is going on and why do I feel this way?
House divided inside. Physically you want one thing and emotionally you want something else, and you feel like you must choose between these different sides of you, but that is what the enemy wants. He wants to keep you in this space of feeling separate and isolated and like you must choose a side of you. When you know the truth. Your superpower is to stay full, to stay complete. Just how I made you. You do not need to choose a side of you when they are all still you. You do not need to cut them off and leave them behind because then you are cutting yourself up and how will you be as affective for the world if the world only gets a portion of you. You are the salt of the world you must stay as strong and as potent as I created you to be. Don’t start murdering sides of you and think that it will help you be purer or more like me. The life within that is you are you and I need you to be fully you.
Yes, there are things that might hurt you since you aren’t me but that doesn’t mean you must murder sides of you and leave them behind. I need you to be you, all of you. Not just pieces of you. Not just a fraction of you, I need the real full and complete you. Like a complete set of books in a series. You don’t get the full effect of the book series if you are missing books in the middle. To get the full effect that the author has intended for you, you must read them all. I need that from you now. More than ever before I need you to be you. Nothing less and nothing more. Just you! I need the complete set of Kaley.
Every piece of you is important and vital to the world around you. You do not have to choose. All of what you are feeling is you. Invite it in. Let it settle down and join you. Don’t keep fighting it and pushing it away. All that is doing is keeping you a house that is divided and trust me the enemy would like nothing more than to see that get to you. He knows you’re weaker when you’re divided and he knows you’re smarter than to fall for him doing it to you, but he knows you can do it to you. Stop fighting that side of you. Let them in. Invite them to sit down with you. Listen to them. They know a side of you that is dying to be known. Not just by you but the entire world. Don’t keep them locked away and separate, allow them in and let them complete the beautiful series that you are. I want you to be fully you. There is no shame in being fully present in who you are and if you are feeling anything except my unending love for you then it isn’t from me. There is no shame in me.
So please my daughter, stop fighting yourself, let her in. Invite her in for a drink and listen to her. Get to know her. Embrace her for who she truly is! Then watch the beautiful creation that you evolve into as you embrace all that you are. You are no longer two pieces separate but one large piece that is complete when put together. Like two magnets that have been forcing each other away but you have been flipped and now you are drawn to each other. So, the more you push, the more you fight it the more it hurts because now you’re not pushing them away, but you can feel the part of yourself that you are pushing away and feels as though your spirit is splitting right down the center. Why would I ask you to do that? Why would I ask you to harm yourself for my sake? I ask you to die to your selfish desires and your fleshly temptations, but they are not one in the same.
You know everything works in stages and phases and seasons of our life. There was a season and a phase where we had to kill various parts of you that weren’t good or helpful or beneficial for you being all of who I know you to be. But those days are long gone. My child, what you are doing now is ripping yourself apart. That is why you feel the way you do. It’s like digging a sliver out of your skin. At first it hurts a bit because you must break through the skin to retrieve it and it might even hurt a little more as you dig around to try and remove it. But once it has been removed you stop. You no longer need to continue digging around in the skin because you have removed the foreign object. That is where you are at my child. You have done the work and removed the sliver and now you are simply digging deeper into a wound that no longer needs it. Now it needs time to heal and to recover and to grow back new, clean, and fresh. You can rest now. You can let it go now. You can be free from it all. It is now your choice if you keep digging or if you allow it to heal. You have done more than is required of you.
This is the part that my church has neglected to teach as well as I’ve hoped. My child, you don’t live your entire life in the surgery stage. No...I have so much more for you than that. I have so much for you to enjoy and experience. But I needed to prepare you and clean you and sometimes that means going through surgery of the heart first. But my plans are never to keep you there for infinite. I want you to explore this life and enjoy it. When you’re ready I will release you back into it.
Just like a doctor when he gives his patient a good bill of health and releases them back. Or like physical therapy after a knee replacement. The patient is first brought in for the surgery. Then they are cleared for physical therapy. Then after long months of working hard and they have improved enough then they are cleared to go back into the world. My daughter, that is where you find yourself. You have completed your treatment plan and are stronger and fitter than ever before. I don’t want to keep you out of the game any longer than you must be for your own safety. I love to see you getting excited about things again and wanting to try new things and wanting to go out into the world. That tells me you are ready, and you are feeling good. I have done my job and equipped you well.
Doctor note has been signed off; you are fully discharged. Now where will you go? What will you do? What will you see? I can’t wait to find out!
With love,
Papa God