Pursue yourself
This was a very personal word from God that was talking about being triggered by something initially, but it really is a reaction to something different and much deeper. I pray this word speaks to you on a personal level as well.
It’s not marriage that you’re reacting to you are reacting to your self-worth. You’re afraid of standing on your own two feet for fear of what it would or might do to the people around you. You are afraid that if you outshine them, it will look prideful and selfish and you’re more humble than that. But then you stuff yourself into a box. Just like in Romans 4 it talks about it is okay for a person to be rewarded for their hard work and you know you will find great success in everything you put your hand too and that scares you because you don’t want to outshine those around you because you want everyone to feel included and lifted high but you’re doing it at your own expense and in the process of you not stepping out on your own you are blocking the gifts that I want to give you as well. Maybe you will impact more people by the success you share once you step out rather than keeping yourself boxed in and hoping they’ll find their light and shine bright. You don’t have to dim your light for others to be able to find their light and shine. Stand on your own two feet and step out on faith and see what I can do with your faith and receive the gifts I want to share with you because than I know you and trust you that then you’ll share those gifts and blessings with everyone else! With you I am well pleased my daughter, well pleased! You already have the crazy faith you just have to unbox it and let it go. You are full of faith; you are just timid or scared to stand on it when the people around you chose not to. Continue stepping out in faith and see how I want to bless your obedience. I am all you need. You know that deep down and you already believe it but now it’s time for your actions to catch up. Let your actions speak louder than your words and go and act on your crazy faith.
I was asking myself why I struggle with shining bright? I felt myself say I don’t want to outshine those around me because it isn’t the loving thing to do. And then God was like do you not think I’m a big enough God to exalt you and elevate you and help others feel loved and shine bright in their own way? Why would I ask you to sacrifice yourself and the light I put in you to help other people? Why would I ask you to sacrifice it when I have it to you to help other people? You think you are helping people by staying humble and quiet and reserved, but you are stunting your growth and dimming your light as well. You do know it’s okay to be the loudest person in the room. You can have the loudest faith and you’ll be alright. You can have the loudest trust in the room and that’s okay. You can have the loudest personality in the room and that will be just fine. You can love the loudest and I will shine even brighter through you. I can’t work through you at the fullest when you’re dimming yourself. Turn on the light all the way and see what happens. Just see what happens when you go all in for the things you want and see what happens. I think you will find yourself pleasantly surprised by the authority that you can harness. What if I worked through your successes rather than your failures or your troubles? What if I could help other people through your success more than I could through your troubles?
It feels unsafe to shine brighter than those around me it feels like I am cheating or like violating the law or breaking the rules. It feels bad or feels negative to want personal success over wanting success for those around me. I want everyone to succeed. What if they can only succeed when you find your own success? Maybe their success isn’t wrapped up in you at all but rather them getting to watch your process to success is what really sets them free. Otherwise you will be helping them obtain their success so you will be required to help them keep their success when in reality it should be their own success between them and me and I will hold it for them not you.
It’s time for you to grow your wings and fly on your own. You don’t have to be so worried or so wrapped up by those around you finding their success. Try focusing on yourself for once and see how far you get and see how it helps those around you as they watch you find your own success and see if that motivates them or encourages them to try on their own. You can’t carry that weight for them. It must be their choice just like it is your choice. It is your choice to choose you and it is their choice to choose themselves. Maybe as you step out and show others that you are beginning to choose yourself you will release them into the belief that they can choose themselves as well, then I can work through that with them, not you!
You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You do you and you find you and you pursue you and watch how easily and quickly it influences those around you! You have natural attraction to everyone. People look to you for direction and you have thrived off of that, but you have begun taking it as a personal mission to help everyone on their journey when it is not like that. Everyone is drawn to you naturally so rather than becoming their addiction and making them believe you can help them do it or achieve it, you do it on your own and let them watch and then guide them along their own journey but you don’t carry them or do it for them because you are too busy doing you and that will show them they can do themselves as well!
It is extremely powerful and empowering to see someone living their own life and owning their life!